HOW TO FAIL SPANISH

Study Tips:

A new language is different from other subjects you may have studied. Here are some suggestions to help you study Spanish:

Study in brief, but frequent intervals. Memorization is a big part of learning a foreign language and memorization only takes place after a lot of repetition. 10 minutes spent every night (including the days you don't have class) reviewing concepts and vocabulary will have greater results than longer and less frequent studying.
Speak the language. When studying or doing homework, read or speak out loud. Practice speaking to your friends and family. They will be impressed! The more you speak, the more you'll remember.
Don't fall behind. We continually build on what we've already learned. While cramming the night before a quiz may result in an acceptable score, it will not build a strong foundation for future, and more difficult, concepts.
Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Mistakes are a normal part of learning a foreign language. Correct yourself if you make a mistake. It shows me that you're trying!
Be positive about your ability to learn. Learning a foreign language takes time, patience, practice, and a positive attitude helps a lot! Don't get discouraged if you get stuck. If you keep trying, it will click.

Top 10 Ways to Fail Spanish

10. As soon as you can, throw away every paper your teacher gives you. If it was really important, it would be in the textbook.

9. Whatever you write, don't worry about no grammer or speling roolz.

8. Homework should be avoided at all costs. You already know everything there is to know about English and that only took about 15 years. So there's no reason to think you can't learn everything about Spanish or French in 3 days a week per year.

7. Don't come to class (especially on quiz and test days). And when you do come, certainly don't come on time.

6. Never bring anything to class that is remotely related to Spanish or French. If you bring your books and supplies then you won't have room for gum, candy, snacks and drinks to get you through class, especially when you have to bring enough to replace what the teacher takes away.

5. Never pay attention! It causes you to learn stuff, and that might cause a personal crisis. This is time that could otherwise be spent doodling in your notebook (or your neighbor's notebook), daydreaming, making faces at your classmates, sleeping to the point that you drool, or doing homework for another class.

4. Only talk when the teacher is talking. Bonus points on the failure scale if you talk really loudly after the teacher has specifically asked you to be quiet. Never, ever do what the teacher asks you to do!

3. The one thing that will probably help you learn Spanish or French most (and therefore should be avoided whenever possible) is speaking Spanish or French. After all, you learned to count on Sesame Street and perfected your pronunciation with "Yo quiero Taco Bell". Who needs more practice than that? Double bonus points on the failure scale if you never volunteer. Triple bonus points if you never speak in class.

2. Never study or review. This might cause you to remember material that you didn't hear in class when you were doodling or doing other, more important stuff. (See #5)

1. And the #1 way to absolutely put you on the failure track? Avoid asking questions. No matter how confused you get, don't ask a question. Who knows what kind of emergency this might create? What if the teacher doesn't know the answer? Heaven forbid, this is not the time to find out!

* Adapted from Bethanie Carlson, Sycamore High School, Sycamore, Illinois.